My Wife Just Left Me – And it’s a Good Thing!

My Wife Just Left Me – And it’s a Good Thing!

Earlier this afternoon, my wife left her wedding ring on her dresser, packed a travel bag, stopped by the bank and withdrew some money, and then hopped on a plane to Las Vegas and left me!  And as she walked away I thought, “It’s a good thing!”

Now before you get too excited at that intro, let me explain!

It’s only for a few days, and she accidentally left her wedding ring at home because she took it off to rub some lotion on her hands as she was packing her bags.  And the reason she hopped a plane to Las Vegas was to help our daughter in law with our two young grandchildren while our son is out of town on a business trip.

And if we are counting up the score of her leaving me, we might as well throw in all the times she has:

·         Left me to go take a meal to someone who was ill in our neighborhood.

·         Left me to go visit a lonely widow neighbor.

·         Left me to go provide assistance to a friend who needed someone to listen.

·         Left me to go teach and inspire some of the teenage girls in our local church congregation.

·         And countless other times she has left me… All for completely good reasons!

So, yeah, she is pretty experienced at leaving me… and many times, I am blessed when she actually takes me along for the occasion.

What got me thinking about it this evening as I am sitting her alone in my home, is the concept of how important it is to think outside of our own personal needs, wants, desires and agendas… to actually consider the needs of others and what we can do to help them.

The concept of service to others boils down to the Old Golden Rule: “DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE DONE UNTO YOU.”

But meaningful service goes even beyond the actual acts performed if we want it to really make a difference.  I mean, I am sure we have all done something to help someone else, but done so begrudgingly or dragging our heals inside our hearts.  But we do it anyway because of what others may think or only because it is expected of us and we don’t want to have to deal with the backlash or guilt of not doing it.

But if you add on top of or as a motivating source behind that service, the power of compassion, genuine concern, and love for those you are helping, then a truly remarkable thing happens.  The person benefitting from our actions feels the power behind it, and WE ALSO benefit by the change that happens within our own hearts and souls.

The prophet Moroni so wonderfully stated, “… except he shall do it with real intent it profiteth him nothing.  For behold, it is not counted unto him for righteousness.” (Moroni 7:6-7)

But when we look beyond our own selfish needs and desires and recognize those plentiful opportunities to help lift, inspire, assist and mend the broken hearts and lives of others because we truly look upon them with compassion and love in our heart, then the God-given power of Charity comes into play in our lives.

Now by using the word “Charity” I am not talking about giving a monetary donation to a charitable organization (although there is nothing wrong with that form of giving), but what I am talking about is Christ-like love, or as the scriptures define Charity – “The Pure Love of Christ”.

If you had to look at it like a math equation in its simplest form it would be:

SERVICE + LOVE = CHARITY

Or another way to define it would be “the action of love.”

And if we want to go straight to the source of all love and goodness, and find out what the Master has to say about this topic, we read in John 13:34-35

"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.  By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."

Now by suggesting all of this, I am not saying you should just abandon your responsibilities in your own home or neglect your spouse or your own children.  Your first priority should always be to your own spouse and family above all else.  But lets be honest – with all the time we waste on trivial and meaningless things each day (come on admit it, we are all guilty of it), then at least a portion of that time could and should be spent in looking outside of our selfish interests in order to be of benefit to others around us.   And what better lesson could you teach your children then the example of selfless charity to help them become better individuals?

Of course we are all imperfect individuals, and we aren’t expected to do everything for everybody all the time.  So don’t go putting that kind of burden on yourself.  But if you want to know how to feel better about yourself and have more joy in your life, then start by spending some time on your knees and asking the Lord what He would have you do to help those around you…. And then sit and listen… and pay attention to the whisperings that come to your mind about calling a friend, or asking someone for forgiveness, or going to visit someone you haven’t seen in a while.

And as you begin to become aware of those promptings, your eyes will also begin to be opened to the needs of others your cross paths with each and every day – like the lady having trouble reaching something on the shelf at the grocery store, or the discouraged classmate at school who is having a bad day and needs a smile and a friendly reminder that things are going to be alright, and the list goes on and on.

I know it seems like as just one person, “just little old me”, what kind of difference can I really make in the world with my meager efforts?  The truth is ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD!

Consider the profound truth offered by the wizard Gandalf in the fictional “Hobbit” story.

Indeed, it is the small acts of love and kindness of ordinary folks which holds the powers of darkness at bay!

And consider these prophetic words and promises found in Moroni, chapter 7:

“45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—

47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.”

And if in stepping outside yourself and leaving behind the comforts of your own home and even your husband (as in my case tonight) is what you need to do to help someone in need, then blessings are bound to come from it.

And in my wife’s case, some of those priceless blessings have kissable chubby cheeks and smiles!

The Kind of Resolution That Really Matters

The Kind of Resolution That Really Matters

So it’s now a few days after New Years and I have a question for you – How are you doing on your resolutions?

The definition of Resolution is: “A firm decision to do or not to do something.”

It seems to be pretty common for people to make New Year’s resolutions about all kinds of things: Losing weight, making more money, exercising more regularly, taking a dream vacation, and the list goes on and on.

It’s also pretty common that within a few weeks of proclaiming those drastic changes in our lives, that we have fallen back into our old habits once again, and the internal fortitude which seemed so sure on New Year’s Day is now faded into the reality of returning to the post-holiday grind of life.

But the kind of resolution I am talking about, has nothing to do with these kinds of things.  The kind of resolution I am referring to is the kind you talk about when using a camera or developing a picture, and has to do with, in basic terms, the quality of the image.  Or in other words, as the resolution goes up, the image becomes more clear, sharper, more defined and more detailed.

And why is that?  It’s because there is more information included in the same amount of space.

But my thoughts today don’t really have anything to do with photography or taking pictures… but instead about the resolution with which we see life around us.

So how do we see life more clearly, with improved quality, more sharpness and true definition of the details?  How do we fit more clarity and detail into the same space of 24 hours in a day?

Might I suggest, even though I am not talking about pictures, that it has everything to do with image and the lens through which we see it.

What I am talking about is: (and this is just a quick, incomplete list)

• A true perception of right and wrong.
• Being able to see the true worth of ourselves and others around us as children of a loving God who wants us to return to Him.
• Being able to recognize the needs of others we cross paths with each day and how best we can really help them.
• Seeing clearly that honesty and integrity are more important than gaining a few extra dollars in our bank accounts.
• Understanding the needs of family members and our role in their lives to lift them, strengthen them, and assist them through the challenges of life.
• Having detailed awareness of our own flaws and imperfections and what we need to do to correct them and why we need to make the effort to do so.
• AND MOST IMPORTANTLY – Understanding our relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ and how to apply His Grace and love in our lives in ways that lastingly change us in remarkable ways forever.  Because He is the lens through which we can see life clearly as it is meant to be seen.
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  Picture by Simon Dewey

"And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.  That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.   And again, verily I say unto you, and I say it that you may know the truth, that you may chase darkness from among you." (D&C 50:23-25)

And how is this type of improved resolution achieved? (Here are just a few possible answers)

• Sincere and heartfelt, regular prayers.
• Study and pondering upon the word of God and His prophets found in the Holy Scriptures.
• Unplugging from the world and taking time to be with God through quiet Meditation.
• Thinking less of ourselves and getting out and serving others (starting within our own marriages and families)
• Repenting quickly and frequently when we recognize we have done something wrong.
• Forgiving others quickly and completely, just as we would hope to be forgiven if the shoe was on the other foot.
• Recognizing our dependence upon the Lord for His guidance and direction.
• Being quick to act upon His guidance when it is given to us (without doubt, debate or delay)

These are just a few ideas to help shift your perspective, provide some initial clarity and sharpen your resolution about what life is really about.

And the most remarkable thing about this kind of resolution, is that when you do so, the other kinds of changes and improvements you need to make in your life tend to begin to happen naturally and with far less effort. And those things which are meaningless sort of fall off to the wayside where they belong.

Here’s to a wonderful New Year, full of True Resolution!