The "Limits" of Love

The Limits of Love

Years ago when I lived in Utah, I was heading home from a home health physical therapy visit and driving through the town of Lehi.  I will admit that I was in a hurry to finish my day and get back home to my family, a nice dinner, some comfortable sweat pants and my easy chair.  So I was probably going about 5 miles-(ish) over the speed limit, but nothing major, right?

Suddenly, another motorist came up from behind, sped past me going about 10 miles per hour faster than I was, and the next thing I knew flashing police lights were appearing in my rear view mirror.  Thinking for sure the officer was going after the man who had just raced past me, I slowed down and began to pull over to the side, while the speeding car who passed me was now a few blocks ahead, had turned and was racing up the freeway on-ramp.  But to my surprise the patrol car pulled off the road behind me.

As the officer got out of his vehicle and approached I was somewhat stunned by this situation.  When I rolled down my window to address him and he asked if I knew how fast I had been driving, I replied, “Officer, surely you must have my speed confused with the other car who just passed me and raced up onto the freeway?”

He replied, “No, I know that man was going faster than you.  I saw the whole thing.  But by the time I could catch up, he was already getting on the freeway and was beyond my reach.  His time will come.  But that doesn’t change the fact that you were also driving in excess of the speed limit.”

I was shocked, and started to get a little bit angry about this situation.  It appeared as if I was just being singled out for my lesser violation while someone who had done far worse was getting away with it.  Where was the justice in that?  But then he said something that changed my train of thought about the situation.

He said, “I know it might not seem fair at the moment, but the fact is, I actually care.  If you had seen the things I have seen, you would know that I only want EVERYONE to be safe and to be able to return home to their loved ones.  That’s why the rules are in place, even for you.”

This comment struck me.  This officer wasn’t to blame.  I had been speeding and in violation of the law which was in place to protect me and everyone else.  The fact that someone else wasn’t following the law didn’t excuse me from doing so.    And yes, I got a ticket, which was later waived because I went to a 20 minute traffic safety class.

But this experience taught me a valuable life lesson - Most rules (at least justly made rules) are in place to help us, not to hinder us.  And there is an important lesson to learn from such a concept.  But first, let me expound upon my driving analogy just a bit further.

The distance between where I live and where I work each day results in about a 20 minute commute.  But it is through rural farm country and is a pleasant drive for the most part, and it gives me time to ponder and pray or listen to a nice audio book or uplifting podcast so I don’t really mind all that much.

But I am surprised that despite the leisurely nature of the drive, there are so many people in such a hurry to get where they are going.  Despite the fact that I am driving the speed limit (which I try to do, but am definitely not perfect at it), there always seems to be one or two people who are right on my bumper and waiting to pass, and then whipping past me in a speedy frenzy to be on their way.  I try to accommodate their intent and wish them well and safety on their way.  But what is often comical about this is that despite their passing me and speeding ahead, by the time I reach town I have often caught up to them or passed them again as they sit waiting at a stop light or waiting to turn left at a corner.  So all the rush really didn’t help them get there any faster anyway.  And sadly, it may have put themselves and others at risk along the way.

So what is the purpose of a speed limit?

A speed limit is the maximum speed which you are allowed to drive under “optimal” road conditions.  Those conditions can be varied by time of day, lighting and visibility issues, snow or rainy roads, potholes or other unexpected obstructions, other motorists or pedestrians, school zones, no passing zones because the potential for encountering oncoming traffic is extremely high, etc.

Just because your vehicle has the ability to drive faster doesn’t mean that you should or that you can without consequences.  Now don’t get me wrong, you have the ability to choose to drive as fast as you want, BUT not without potential consequences.

You might say, “Well, it’s my choice?  I am in a hurry!  What I have to do and where I have to go is more important than what the limits allow?”

Yes, you can say all of those things and drive how you desire.  But the potential consequences can be life changing in ways both large and small.  Just consider some of those possibilities:

• ·     Speeding tickets – which have never brightened anyone’s day or made them feel better.
• ·        Accidents – sometimes small and minor and sometimes major with loss of life and permanent disabilities or death or loss of the use of your vehicle and ability to get around.
• ·       Increased insurance costs for which you pay for long periods of time until improved behavior is demonstrated.
• ·       Potential medical costs and prolonged rehabilitation needs.
• ·       Potential guilt if you injured someone else along the way.
• ·       And the list could go on, but you get the idea

Those things that seemed so important and why you needed to get there a few moments faster suddenly disappear when the potential consequences become a reality.

And sometimes we may want to shift the blame for such things onto others around us:

·         “It’s the other stupid drivers on the road who are going to slow!”

·         “That mean police officer is being a jerk and just wanted to ruin my day!”

·         “This insurance racket is rigged to make me pay!”

The problem with this train of thought is that it shifts the blame to someone else, and doesn’t take accountability for our own actions, nor the fact that we were not driving according to the defined and posted law or according to the conditions around us.

The simple fact is, the laws and limits are there to provide for our safety, not as a restriction or punishment.  They allow us to travel about with other motorists who all have their own destinations and motivations.

So what is the purpose behind all this traffic talk anyway?  Well, let’s “shift gears” and extend these thoughts in to other arenas.

“Just because your vehicle has the ability to drive faster doesn’t mean that you should or that you can without consequences.”

Now let’s change that slightly to an example of something like …let’s say sexual immorality – “Just because you have the physical ability to participate in acts of physical intimacy doesn’t mean you should whenever and however you want.”  You might feel the “need for speed” in this desire, but that doesn’t give you the right to force that desire upon someone else against their will or outside of appropriate marriage relationships without some kind of consequences.

Just as violation of traffic laws is likely to eventually result in some kind of ticket, accident, injury, broken cars and broken lives, inappropriate and unsafe sexual relations and tendencies outside the bounds of marriage is likely to result in potential STDs, broken hearts of family by a cheating spouse, broken homes, unwanted pregnancies and the ripple effects can go on and on.

And with something like this, there is the basic speed limit of “Thou shalt not commit adultery” which is based on “optimal road conditions” so to speak, and then there is the finer point of personal control and safety according to “any possible varying road conditions” of “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” (Matt 5:27-28)

Can you see how the observance of not only the basic law, but the higher law would protect you, your family and those you love from potential spiritual injury?  In fact, you probably don’t have to look very far to know someone personally who has suffered the devastating effects of these kinds of violations, or perhaps have suffered from them yourself.

The same things are true for all moral laws which govern society.   You could apply them to Honesty, Theft (no matter who small it might be), gossiping or backbiting, bearing false witness, or any other moral law.

Now imagine that while driving about, if everyone, instead of being so focused on just where they were going and how best it will serve them to get where they desire as quickly as possible, everyone's primary concern was to show respect for the givers of the laws and the safety of the other drivers around them to help them along their way.  This shift from selfish to selfLESS would then require far less enforcement of all the other varied traffic rules.

The same is true for moral law and commandments.  On our journey down the road of life, if instead of being motivated  by our own selfish desires and "what's in it for me", our motivations were to "Love the Lord thy God, and to Love our neighbors and fellow travelers", then the all of the lesser laws just seem to fall naturally into place without much need for enforcement. 

It does no good to point the blame at others or try to justify our own violations because of the inappropriate actions of others.  Safety begins with learning to better observe the laws individually ourselves first and foremost, and then being kind and considerate of others and helping them along their way safely.

But sometimes accidents do happen which are beyond our control.  You might be a perfectly attentive and safe driver, but someone else around you may be operating distracted, intoxicated or otherwise impaired… or just selfishly trying to put their own desires ahead of everyone else around them.  Yes, there can be innocent victims involved, and in fact our actions tend to always have some kind of effect upon other around us, whether we want it to or not.

And, it is important to remember that unless we are in the field of law enforcement, our responsibility is to simply be a law abiding citizen.  Those who are given proper authority are the ones who have the actual power to enforce the laws and rules, along with the potential fines or punishments.  There have to be police officers and judges to properly determine intent, where the fault lies and what the appropriate repercussions are in each individual case.

The same is true with spiritual or moral matters.  We are best to simply focus on learning to be “law abiding” citizens ourselves first and foremost, and leave the judging and enforcing of the laws to those who are in positions of authority.

And because we are all imperfect and all violate the law to some degree at some time or another, what a blessing it is that we can turn to the Master Physician, and Master Mechanic, Jesus Christ, to help mend that which is broken and make us whole once again so we can continue on our journey.  There will likely be a cost involved for those repairs, but His work is actually very inexpensive and absolutely complete and guaranteed if we accept His terms and conditions of repentance.  And absolutely nothing is beyond His ability to repair completely, no matter how significant the damage might be.

And His laws and rules and moral speed limits are in place, because just like that police officer told me all those years ago, Christ would say to us - “I know it might not seem fair at the moment, but the fact is, I actually care.  If you had seen the things I have seen, you would know that I only want EVERYONE to be safe and to be able to return home to Me and those they love.  That’s why the rules are in place, even for you.”

And no matter how the world or others may treat us,  the “Limits” of His love and forgiveness are truly limitless in our behalf!