The Progression of Reality
I felt
prompted today to write of and experience I had in the Rexburg, Idaho temple sometime
in the fall of 2015.
As I usually try to
do, I had been preparing myself throughout the day prior to attending, so as to
invite the Spirit prayerfully into my heart and be open to learn and be
instructed during my time in the temple.
I also arrived early before the session, so I could have time to sit in
the chapel area and pray and prepare myself before the session started.
As myself
and the other patrons were eventually led by the officiators into the first
room, representing the world in which we now live, I
found myself seated next to a young man who appeared to be in his early to mid-20s,
most likely a college student from BYU-Idaho.
He was trim, with blond hair and glasses, but I noticed almost
immediately that he was chewing some bubble gum. As the lights dimmed and the movie
presentation began, he began to chew on his gum more vigorously, and also began
quietly, but consistently blowing small bubbles of gum, then pull the bubble of
gum back into his mouth with a muffled “pop” and then begin earnestly chewing
and repeating the process over again. As
the session progressed, he also began to nervously bounce his foot up and down,
first one leg, then another.
I have to
admit, that I was quite distracted throughout the session, and as our time in
the first room progressed, I found myself getting annoyed, frustrated and
focused upon him rather than paying attention to what was being taught. But I didn’t say anything, not wanting to add
to any of the distraction for the other patrons, but in my heart I was passing
judgment on his behaviors as being inappropriate for the environment of the
temple. After all, his behaviors were
detracting and preventing me from having the temple experience I was personally
seeking after.
As the
ordinance progressed the time approached for us to move to the next room, and while walking into the brighter and
lighter space, I determined that I was going to try to quit paying attention to
the young man, and instead try to more fully focus on the ordinance itself. After all, I had been preparing myself all
day to come to the temple, not only to do some ordinance work for one of my
ancestors, but to also be instructed by the Lord with what He wanted me to
learn that day. The young man sat next
to me, and his behaviors still continued, but I was more successful in feeling
the Spirit as I blocked out much of the distraction and focused on the
sacredness of the experience and looking forward to progressing
towards what was still to come.
Later, once in
the Celestial room, representative of passing into Heaven, I breathed a sigh of relief and finally put all of my
previous thoughts and frustrations aside and spent a few moments in prayer,
asking the Lord to open my eyes and help me be open to anything He might want
to teach me. After a few moments I felt
prompted to open my eyes.
As I looked
up, I almost instantly noticed the fidgeting young man seated a short way
across the room. His eyes were closed,
his feet planted on the floor evenly in front of him, his back upright but his
head bowed. His hands were placed out on
top of his thighs but struggled to stay still as they grasped and then released
the fabric of his pants. But it was the
agony on his face that struck me the most.
His features were contorted in frustration, and as my eyes and heart were
suddenly opened by the Spirit, I realized how hard he was fighting just to try to stay still
and pray… but his body would not let him do so.
My heart
instantly became changed as I realized for the first time, that this young man
must suffer from some type of disorder that made it almost impossible for him
to hold still. I considered that with
such a condition, what a monumental effort of faith it must take to have to
force yourself to sit in one place for nearly two hours of an endowment
session. Now, having endured through it
all, he simply wanted to find a few moments of relief in the Celestial room,
and be able to pray in peace and stillness to his Heavenly Father… but it was a
bitter fight against his fidgeting flesh to do so.
My heart
reach out towards this young man and up towards heaven in his behalf. Now, rather than judgement, I had a glimpse
of understanding and my soul welled up instead with compassion and pleading for
him that he could find a least a few moments of the stillness and peace he so
desperately sought after in this holy place.
Looking
around the room, I quickly noticed other patrons in prayer and
contemplation. One man sat off in the
corner, bent forward with his elbows upon his knees and his hands clasped
earnestly together. His brow was knit
with concern and his mouth silently opened and closed in a fervent and
heartfelt prayer that only Heaven could hear.
I pondered over who he might be praying for with such energy and
conviction, perhaps a wayward prodigal child?
Or maybe a loved one suffering from a significant health condition? Perhaps a wife who was struggling with her
testimony? I did not know, but it was
evident that his emotions were of such depth that certainly a loving Heavenly
Father could not help but hear and understand the feelings of this man’s soul.
With my eyes
opened in such a manner, I realized that all the patrons in the room were
quietly facing their own personal situations, seeking for answers, peace and
comfort that could not be found in the world outside. But in faith, they were all here with me. I closed my eyes and the nature of my prayer
changed, not to seeking that the Lord would answer my own selfish, personal prayers
and petitions, but that He would accept some small measure of my faith and
instead grant the struggling souls of those around me with the desires that
they were righteously seeking for.
Suddenly,
the Spirit shifted my focus from the others back to myself, and I realized
that what I had come seeking in my own journey to the temple had been provided
and answered all along. I had come to
seek for the further light and understanding that the Lord wanted me to know…
and it had been granted.
In the
Telestial environment, representative of the world in which we live, I had been
easily distracted by the things around me, and was quick to pass judgement and
lose focus on the things of greater importance.
My eyes and understanding were veiled to some degree and with my
attention diverted away from the Lord, I had passed through much of the
experience missing what was being taught by ordinance itself. I was too concerned and judgmental about
others, who seemed to be interfering with what I thought should be happening
for my own benefit.
As I
shifting my focus more towards the Lord and less on the temporal distractions
around me, I was led into a room of more light and taught about a higher degree
of consecration and commitment to do God’s will, and those things which had
bothered me before were of far less importance to what I was experiencing
previously.
Finally, advancing
to a Celestial environment, my eyes were finally opened and I was allowed to
see things more as they really are. My
attention was shifted not away from those around me, but instead I was directed
to look back upon them, but with eyes that now saw and understood more from God’s
perspective. Rather than judgement, I
was moved with compassion and sought for their welfare rather than my own
selfish desires… and by having that shift in focus, I finally received and was
taught through the Spirit, the great and profound lesson the Lord wanted to
teach me, and what I needed to come and find that day for myself.
I realize from
this experience, that the goal in life, and part of the purpose of the temple,
is to not only teach us about the great blessings which are waiting to be claimed
after we pass through the veil of mortality and into the heavens beyond, but is
instead to teach us how to see with progressively more light. In that revealing light we can focus more
intently upon the Lord, become less distracted and frustrated by those around
us, and be able to see things… right
here and right now in our present living situation… from a more heavenly
vantage point. In doing so, we are able
to see others and life around us more in the way the Savior sees them, and shift
our focus away from our own personal desires, instead to doing the will of the
Father and lifting, praying for and helping those around us through their own
struggles and challenges.
With this higher
form of living and seeing and serving, I believe we don’t have to wait to pass
through the veil to the other side, but instead will invite more of Heaven into
our own hearts each and every day along the way.
As C.S. Lewis wrote: “Earth, I think,
will not be found by anyone to be in the end a very distinct place. I think
earth, if chosen instead of Heaven, will turn out to have been, all along, only
a region in hell: and earth, if put
second to Heaven, to have been from the beginning a part of Heaven itself.”
