Faith Precedes the Miracle

Faith Precedes the Miracle

“Today was one of the greatest days of my mission!  I learned a great lesson about the power of prayer and fasting.  We witnessed a Miracle!”

These were the words written in my journal entry dated Sept. 30, 1987, while serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Los Angeles, California.

(I need to further clarify these remarks and writings today, with the statement that by sharing them, I am absolutely and in no way whatsoever seeking to promote myself of make any claim that I am anything special.  I am sharing these thoughts at the request of my youngest son, Mason, who is currently serving as a missionary for the Church in Wisconsin, and who finds himself in a similar situation as I was all those years ago.  But I feel comfortable sharing them at the same time, because I am more than happy to testify and share the love of God and His absolute power to provide divine miracles in our behalf when it is according to His will)

At the time I wrote these remarks, I was nearing the last few months of my missionary labors, and was serving in a position in the mission offices which were located on the temple ground behind the historic Los Angeles Temple.

As a result of our office assignment, my companion and I lived in the mission home apartments, and our days were usually filled during business hours fulfilling various duties and office tasks, coordinating with other missionaries throughout the mission, assisting the Mission President as he needed, and so forth.  This didn’t leave us much time for actual missionary proselyting, except for a few random evenings and weekends.

Me at my office desk in fall of 1987

Despite this rather non-missionary schedule, we were still assigned to cover 3 local congregations:  The Wilshire Ward (which included Beverly Hills and Bel Air), a small Spanish branch, and the UCLA student ward.

At the end of August, and going into the start of September that year, our mission president, the late Elmo B. Shirts, made a spiritual challenge to all the missionaries throughout the entire mission – That if we would sincerely and prayerfully fast, that we would receive inspiration as to what number of convert baptisms we should set as a goal for the month of September.  And moved upon by the Spirit of the Holy Ghost, and as his authorized servant, he promised us that if we then were strictly diligent to the mission rules, and did everything that we could possibly do to be obedient and faithful, that the Lord would fulfill helping us meet that baptismal goal.

My companion, Elder David Kono and I took that challenge to heart.  We fasted and prayed individually and without discussing it ahead of time, we both felt prompted with the same number to set as our goal for the number of baptisms we would achieve that month.  Considering our limited ability to go out searching for investigators, we truly were at the mercy of the Lord and the local members to provide us contacts of people we could begin teaching.  And although we had previously been blessed with success some occasional people to teach and who had made the spiritual journey to the waters of baptism… the goal we felt prompted to set seemed daunting and almost out of reach.

Nevertheless, being young and full of commitment, and probably because we were just too naïve to realize that logically, our goal was impossible… we moved ahead in faith.  We made our goal a focus of our thoughts and prayers.  We decided to fast each and every Sunday throughout the month, not just for the sake of our goal, but so that we would be inspired to know how to truly help anyone who might be seeking for the truth about the Lord Jesus Christ.  We talked and discussed ways we could be more faithful and diligent in keeping the mission rules, and sought to be as obedient as possible to the guidance and promptings of the Spirit.

As the month progressed, we were blessed to be introduced by some local members, to some wonderful people to add to our teaching pool.  Their hearts were open to the message we had to share, and they began to progress in their desires to know Jesus Christ better.  And remarkably, as the weeks passed by, several of them had entered the waters of baptism and things were lining up perfectly for us to reach our goal.  When a wonderful lady named Denise Knight entered the waters of baptism on Thursday, September 24^th, we were just one person away from reaching our goal, and remarkably we had our final investigator scheduled to be baptized just a few days later, on Saturday, the 26^th.  We were simply ecstatic!

Then, on Friday evening, as we were talking to the lady who was scheduled to be baptized on Saturday, she informed us that she was suddenly no longer interested in being baptized, and wanted to just take a break from things for a while and asked that we not contact her anymore.

Suddenly, thoughts of meeting our goal were snatched away from us.  With absolutely no one else in our active teaching pool, we were at a loss of what to do.  To be honest, most of Saturday came and went with spiritual justifications rattling around in my head.  “Well, at least we came close.”  “Well, I guess we did what we could, and it just wasn’t meant to be.” …and so forth.

Then, as Saturday evening approached, my companion and I were reading the scriptures and talking together and the thought came to us, “Do you really believe that the God you proclaim to worship and serve is a God of miracles?”  We began discussing all of the miraculous events portrayed in the scriptures, which simply couldn’t be rationally explained away, and came to the conclusion that we had to either believe such things were true and that God really did have power to perform miracles… or that we didn’t believe in such things.

We could have easily rationalized, as so many of us often do, that although we believe in such things… we just don’t believe that happen in our day, or at least not to us personally.  But instead, we came to the faithful conclusion that if God could create worlds and move mountains and part seas… then surely if He desired to do so, He could also provide us the miracle of finding a new investigator with only a few days left in the month, and that person would be ready and prepared to be baptized.

Like I said previously… you can call it being naïve, illogical or whatever you want… but in that moment, in our simple, imperfect, but committed missionary hearts, it was FAITH.  And not a faith in ourselves or that we had actually done anything worthy of thinking we could command God to do anything against His will in our behalf… but unwavering faith in HIM, and His all-powerful ability to provide miracles as He saw fit.

So we dropped to our knees, and began fasting yet again.  Fasting in gratitude for all the blessings He has provided us.  Fasting in praise that we were blessed to be able to serve Him in the capacity of missionaries.  Fasting that His will would be done, and not ours… but that if it was actually His will, that He would perhaps see fit to provide someone who was ready to accept Him and His gospel message.

Journal Entry, Sunday, Sept. 27, 1987 - “Today was one of the most exciting yet stressful days of my mission.  It all began yesterday when we began a special fast so that we could perhaps accomplish our goal of baptisms for this month.  We didn’t give up faith in the Lord, even though it is so late in the month and we had no one ready.  We knew that He would bless us if we remained faithful.”

Later that morning, as we were attending the Sunday School class at the UCLA student ward, the class dismissed and everyone began filtering out of the room.  But there in the back of the room, shifting nervously side to side on her feet, was a girl we had never met before.  My companion and I looked at each other and instantly knew that she was “the one”.

We introduced ourselves and she said her name was Sherri, and before we could even ask her if she was interesting in hearing more about the Church and the gospel of Jesus Christ, she asked us if we could teach her so she could be baptized!

We both just about fell over on the floor in shock, and perhaps I would have, except that the Spirit overcame me and I felt overjoyed with gratitude – gratitude for the love of the Savior in miraculously hearing and answering our fasting and prayers, as well as gratitude for this young woman’s sincere desire to make a commitment to follow Christ by being baptized a member of the Church.

She was eager to learn, so we arranged to meet with her that same afternoon in the company of some other members of the ward congregation.  She soaked everything up like a sponge and informed us that she had a boyfriend who was a member of the Church already, and a returned missionary, who was away attending BYU on a baseball scholarship.  He had given her a Book of Mormon before he left, and she had read it, studied it, and prayed about it and felt she should be baptized as soon as possible.  She was nothing short of the miracle we had been praying for.

She agreed to be baptized that week!  She was so excited she wanted to call her boyfriend to share her good news with him.  He was already a member of the Church, and had served a mission himself, and although he was very happy about her decision, he asked if she would be willing to wait for a few more weeks until October 11^th, so that he could come back to California and perform her baptism.  She felt this would be a good idea and so plans were made to that effect.  We were personally heartbroken, but supportive of her desires above our own.  (Obviously we had mentioned nothing to her of our prayerfully set goal or her supposed role in it, as we felt such a thing would be totally inappropriate to discuss with her in her own personal progress).

She left that evening happy about her decision, and we were happy for her, but once again, the miracle seemed to have been snatched from our grasp.  We once again sulked around for a few minutes, with rationalizing statements and “nearly made it” pats on the back… but then once again the question came silently to our minds, “Do you really believe that the God you proclaim to worship and serve is a God of miracles?”

Humbled and chastened by our doubts, we once again talked together and decided that if God miraculously could provide someone in one day, like he had earlier, then why couldn’t He provide someone else who was ready the next day!  Once again we were on our knees and began a new fast yet again, thanking the Lord for His tender mercies by guiding Sherri into our path, and asking and literally completely trusting, that if it was His desire to do so, He could do it again!

We got ready for bed that night, and I finished my journal entry for that day with the following, “I know that the will of the Lord will be done in the end if we have faith and follow his counsel and promptings.  No one could ever convince me that it wasn’t the hand of the Lord that made it all possible.  Who else could do such a great and yet simple thing in the way it all came about.  No one can tell me it was a coincidence, for I know that it was a Godly answer to our sincere prayers and fasting!  I glorify His name for it!  In the end I pray that His will be fulfilled and that it will work out best for all.”

Despite it all, I slept well that night, confident that all would be right.

Monday, September 28^th, came and went full of our normal office labors and duties and nothing out of the ordinary happened.  But I still felt calm and assured that all would work out for the best, as we continued our fast throughout that day.  The same was true all throughout Tuesday the 29^th, with no new contacts or investigators.  Just a normalcy, but filled with peace and confidence that God’s will, not ours, would be done.

Finally, we come back to the beginning of this story, with the journal entry I began with in this writing.

As we were going about our early morning labors on Wednesday, Sept. 30^th, the final day of the month, we received a phone call.  It was Sherri, the girl we had met on Sunday.  (Now you must remember that she knew absolutely nothing about our goal, prayers or fasting).  She said, “I have wrestled with the Spirit all night long!  I don’t know why, but I have become completely convinced that I should not wait even another day, but that it is the Lord’s will that I should be baptized today!  I called my boyfriend and told him what has happened and he told me that if that is what the Lord was telling me, then I should do it.”

Our hearts soared with joy and brimmed over with gratitude to the Lord for His miracle.  We had no idea how it would come, but had fully believed and trusted that if it was His will it would happen, and He delivered!  We spent the rest of the day happily scrambling around to get the necessary interviews completed, the font scheduled and a meeting put together.

At 8:30 that night, just a few hours before the end of the month, I was privileged to enter the waters of baptism with Sherri Nicole Gottlieb, and baptized her.  I still remember as I lifted her out of the water she had the most wonderful smile and such a happy, peaceful look on her face.

Me, Sherri Gottlieb, and my companion Elder David Kono in front of the baptismal font on Sept. 30th, 1987

  Soon after, my companion Elder Kono, confirmed her a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  IT WAS A MIRACLE!

My journal entry, with which we began at the start, concluded with these words, “I no longer doubt that the Lord can deliver unto us the righteous desires of our hearts if we but have faith!  I give all the glory to Him for bringing this miracle to pass and acknowledge His hand in every good thing I do!  I am grateful for His Spirit which has led and guided me each day and changed my life, little by little, for the better!  I only pray that I can continue to humbly learn and grow and endure to the end!”

Again, I want to say that in sharing this remembrance with you, I am not claiming that my experience was any more unique or special, than any of the countless miracles, both great and small, that God bestows upon His children throughout the world each day.  But I share it as a witness that God indeed truly does love us, and desires to bless us, even through miraculous ways far beyond coincidence or chance!

A true miracle, can never be forced and will never happen because of our own desires.  It will only happen if it is God’s will and if our will is in alignment with His.

In reality, miracles have very little to do with our paltry offerings of faith, and literally everything to do with His love and tender mercies in our behalf, but there is a vital reason why we must have Faith to unlock those miracles in our life – and that is not because He has to prove his power and love to us, but that it is through our Faith in Him that we become convinced of His miraculous love and power in our behalf.  Faith does nothing to change God, who is already perfect in every way, but Faith has the power to change us because of our belief in Him.

And that change in our hearts to trust in Him, His timing, His will and His purposes and not our own, through Faith in Him and His love, is perhaps the greatest miracle of all.

DIRTY DISHES & A LESSON IN GRATITUDE

DIRTY DISHES & A LESSON IN GRATITUDE

As Thanksgiving approaches, I couldn’t help but reflect back on two elderly women I met while working as a home health physical therapist a few years ago.  These two women from neighboring cities greatly altered my view of what it really means to be grateful for what you have, no matter what your circumstances.

One woman had suffered from years of severe, debilitating arthritis throughout her body, for which she had undergone more joint and spinal surgeries than she could count.  On top of that, she was also suffering from a type of cancer and had just concluded a vicious round of chemotherapy right before I was called in to assist her.  As I reviewed her medical file before going to see her for the first time, I expected to encounter a downtrodden and emotionally spent soul.  But to my shock and amazement, I instead discovered a woman who wore a constant jubilant smile, and literally exuded joy and happiness from her presence.

As I began to visit with her and assess her physical condition, which was every bit as worn down as her medical history indicated it would be, I couldn’t help but finally ask her, “How is it that you are able to stay so happy and positive considering all you have been through and are still suffering?”

Joyful tears came to her eyes, and it took her a moment to compose herself before she answered, motioning to all the family pictures which literally lined the walls of her home, “Just look at all of this family and posterity I have. Some of them I haven’t seen in quite some time because they live far away, and (with a teasing wink in her eye) some I see more often than I would like, but I have been blessed to have all of these wonderful souls be a part of my existence, and because of my faith in Jesus Christ and his great plan of salvation, I know that I will have all of them as a part of my existence through eternity as well.  Isn’t that the most joyous thing you have ever heard?  How could I be sad, knowing that even after all I have been through, that I can have my family and loved ones forever?”

I was deeply humbled by her gratitude for the Lord, and despite all she had suffered, and continued to suffer, that she refused to see anything but the blessings of family and loved ones in her life.  Her vision of faith greatly inspired me and helped me realize how many things I took for granted far too often in my own life.  My visits with her are cherished memories and lessons in optimism.

The second woman also suffered some longstanding debility from a previous stroke, as well as other medical conditions.  When I first met her and entered her house, I could feel a definite spirit to her home.  I couldn’t really define it, but it was palpable.  We visited for a few minutes and while I was providing some treatment with her, I asked about her life, how long she had lived there, and so forth.

She told me that she had 7 children all fairly close together, one of them severely crippled, and then unexpectedly, her husband had passed away, leaving her to raise those 7 children, the oldest of which was 11 and the youngest only about 10 months old.  Less than 6 months later her crippled child also passed away, and she thought she would never recover.  But the night after her child’s funeral she had a very spiritual experience (which is far too personal and sacred to discuss in this informal setting) but she said it forever changed her perspective.

She then told me, “All those tough years that followed, trying to scrape by a living and raise my other remaining 6 children, I went to bed every night and thanked the Lord for dirty laundry and dirty dishes!”

I kind of laughed at this statement, but that was only because I didn’t understand its meaning.  She went on to explain, “I praised the Lord every time I washed dirty dishes because that meant that my children had food to eat that day.  And every time I hand washed the dirty laundry, I thanked the Lord that my children had clothes to wear.  The Lord took care of me, and always provided sufficient for our needs.  We never had much, but we never went without.”

Once again, I was humbled by how often I had taken so many simple things for granted in my life.  This woman had endured through trials I would never know, and yet, had seen only God’s hand blessing her and her family through their meager existence.

What these two women taught me through their joyful, living examples, was what President Russell M. Nelson recently shared in the October 2016 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, when he said, “Life is filled with detours and dead ends, trials and challenges of every kind. Each of us has likely had times when distress, anguish, and despair almost consumed us.  Yet we are here to have joy…  My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives… (Because of) Jesus Christ and His gospel, we can feel joy regardless of what is happening – or not happening – in our lives.  Joy comes from and because of Him.  He is the source of all joy.”

Such words ring as resounding and uplifting truth to our ears, but how often do we hear such wisdom, and fail to apply it in our own lives and circumstances?  What these two women showed me by their living examples, is that true joy and happiness, and deep abiding gratitude, CAN be found and truly experienced as a part of any reality IF we focus on the source of joy in our lives, rather than be distracted by all the trivial matters which otherwise weigh us down and make us feel like victims of our circumstances.

So at this time of Thanksgiving, may we lift our gaze upward, and not just speak the words of thanksgiving for a day, and then revert back to our prior lives, but may our hearts truly feel that gratitude for all of our countless blessings, and our eyes be changed to see all that we truly have to be thankful for!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

PAYDAY & A RAISE

PAYDAY & A RAISE

I remember back many years ago, when as a young, and still fairly new physical therapist, I started a new job.  It just so happened that because of when I started this job, and how that date fell into my employers pay cycle, that I had to work for almost a full month before my first paycheck came.

As a young father with 2 children and my wife expecting our third, going that long between paychecks put more than a bit of a strain on us financially.  That combined with all the stress of trying to learn the new systems, facilities, procedures and responsibilities at my new job, gradually took its toll.  Although I was doing my best to be a good employee and an inspiring therapist to the clients I was working with each day, I have to admit that as the end of that not-yet-paid 4 week cycle came around, I began to wonder if I had made a mistake.  Was I ever going to get paid at all?

When that first payday finally rolled around, my employer called me into his office for an interview.  As he handed me that first check, he thanked me for the good job I had been doing.  He stated that some of the other staff in the facility had mentioned good things about me and were happy I was there.  He also took a few minutes to offer some kind and encouraging suggestions of how I could continue to improve as I became gradually more familiar with everything in the charting and billing systems, and in meeting the insurance requirements but also expressed his confidence in my ability to continue to excel in my performance.

He closed by thanking me for being a part of the therapy team there, and as he stood to shake my hand, he smiled and looked me in the eye and said, “And because you have started out so well and I can tell you are doing your best, even though you’ve just started with us, I also want to pretend like it’s a new job offer and give you a small raise as a token of my appreciation for your efforts, which are so needed in our organization.”

Wow!!!  In just an instant I had gone from a somewhat worn out, frustrated employee, to feeling full of life and rejuvenation!  I went on to work many years at that establishment, and felt a loyalty and commitment to them far beyond any previous place I had ever worked to that point in time.

I happened to reflect on that memory this Sunday afternoon, and I realized that initial employment situation is similar in many ways to my life each week.

Each Monday morning I set out with the intention of being a good person, the best employee I can at work, wanting to be a better husband to my wife and a better father to my children.  I want to be full of kind thoughts, and not be judgmental or frustrated with others around me.  I seek to be kind and helpful to those I come in contact with, and perhaps be a bit quicker to pick up on things without having to learn the hard way.

But alas, each day and week seems to take its toll, and are soon littered with faults, mistakes and frustrations along the way.  No matter how hard I try, I can never quite measure up to the perfection in achieving the goals I have set for myself, and by the time Sunday morning rolls around, I still carry many of the wounds I have inflicted upon myself and others, and sometimes wonder if it was all worth it.

But then a remarkable thing happens when I go to Church.  In our weekly congregational meeting, the simple yet sacred ordinance of the Sacrament is blessed and offered by designated priesthood authorities.

It is a time of personal reflection with my Savior about how the week has gone as I partake of those emblems of His atoning sacrifice.  I ponder on the many faults I still carry in my soul, mixed with the desires I have to be more a Christ like and good person.

And I find it is much like sitting with my old boss at that first meeting.  The Lord, through the tender mercies of His Spirit, offers praise for my feeble efforts, along with suggestions of how I can continue to improve.  His love is present to let me know that He is pleased with my being there as a part of His team, and then, despite my many shortcomings and failures, He offers blessings for my imperfect efforts and He even offers me a spiritual raise by wiping my slate completely clean and letting me start anew once again.  He lets me know that it is worth the effort, to keep trying again in the coming week, and that if I will continue to do my best for Him and those around me that He will always be willing to stay committed to me and always wants to have me as part of His organization.

It may seem like such a small and simple thing, which can be so easily overlooked and forgotten about, much like I had forgotten getting that first paycheck and raise at work all those many years ago.  But if I constantly look forward to that weekly “job performance” review and interview, then the pay is always much more than I deserve, and the spiritual raise always comes, every time, without fail.  And it is available to every single one of us each and every week if we are willing, eager and longingly seek for that spiritual interview and renewal.

In reality, these moments of spiritual cleansing, renewal and raising have so very little to do with the adequacy of our efforts, and literally EVERYTHING to do with His vast love for us and His desire for us to succeed.

But if those are the remarkably generous terms of our employment contract with Him… well, I am willing to keep that job for the rest of my life and the eternities beyond.

Happy Sabbath Everyone!  And I hope we never tire or make commonplace the sacred ordinance of the Sacrament and what that really means to each and every one of us!

Coached for Life

Coached for Life

In the middle of a business meeting today, some comments brought to memory and took me back to my glory days on the football gridiron.  I previously made mention of another important lesson I learned while playing high school football in a different post, The Triumph of Defeat, but this message is about something altogether different.

Today, my message is about my relationship with a man who helped shape my life in countless ways, and who will always be a legend in my mind - My former High School football coach.

Football took me on a journey, to say the least.  When I first started playing grid-kid football in the 4^th and 5^th grade, I actually played Quarterback and linebacker.

4th Grade, First year playing football

That might come as a surprise to some, but in one game in 5^th grade while playing for a team in rural Menan, Idaho, I was the only player to score any points in the entire game… for either team, in what ended up being a 32-0 win.

5th grade football picture (with my dog photobombing)

After moving to the Rexburg area, I played my 6^th-8^th grade years playing fullback and linebacker.

7th Grade football team - many of these guys played with me all the way through high school

But, as sometimes happens, puberty kicked in, combined with a terrible bout of Bronchitis which rendered me sedentary for several months and caused me to miss my sophomore year due to transitory Asthma. As a result, going into my junior year I found that I had unexpectedly grown myself into an offensive lineman.

Our head coach at Madison High School was Preston Haley, and coincidentally, he was also the offensive and defensive line coach, which meant that during positional drills in practice each day, I spent a good amount of time under his watchful and demanding tutelage.

Each afternoon brought a gauntlet of arduous drills: driving a heavy blocking sled until our legs felt like jello, foot and hand movement coordination exercises, mano-a-mano gladiator blocking battles, and countless other calisthenics which I felt sure Coach Haley had conjured up for us while studying from some ancient medieval torture manuals.

As happens with most teenagers still trying to find out who they actually are and what is really going on in life, I was probably pretty self-centered and overly self-conscious. So whenever Coach Haley called me out for a lackluster effort or a missed blocking assignment, I wondered if perhaps he had it out for me.

During one particular game, while playing a bigger school from a division above our own, I had the assignment as the left guard, to pull around the right end on a designed reverse play. The play worked perfectly, and as I pulled around into the open field with the receiver close behind me running up the sideline, there was only one defender who hadn’t fallen for the fake.  All I had to do was block or interfere with the smaller defensive back enough to allow our speedy receiver to sprint past towards what was a certain touchdown.

But as I planted my cleat in the wet turf to make the block, I slipped a bit and stumbled at the defenders knees, allowing him to recover enough to make the tackle.  As I pushed up from grass, already feeling miserable for missing the block, I looked up at our sideline only a few feet away, and to my horror, was right at the feet of a clearly frustrated Coach Haley!

“You’ve got to make that block!” He bellowed.

To say I was embarrassed would be an understatement.  I felt as if I had let not only the entire team down, but also all of the fans who had come to watch the game.  Luckily, we went on to win that game.  But the next Monday in practice, Coach Haley still remembered.

During positional drills he set up that play and made me run that pulling blocking assignment at least a dozen times in a row until both he and I were convinced that I would never miss that block again.

It was during times like that, as an insecure teenager, that I sometimes wondered why I was playing football.  Why was I subjecting myself to the grueling practices?  Why was it really so important to be able to perform the blocking sequence of “Step. Explode. Drive!” relentlessly over and over again?  When I woke up in the mornings only to discover new bruises and deep aching muscles that I never knew existed, was it really all worth it?

Sometimes I wondered about such things and questioned my commitment during those dog days of practice.  But all of the sweat, blood and tears, along with the tough, demanding and ever-present gaze of Coach Haley lead to one thing… Winning!

During the 4 years from 9^th – 12^th grade, my class of football athletes only lost one game and won 3 consecutive State Championships.

1984 State Championship Team - (So many good memories with the men in this picture)

Coach Haley demanded intense effort and execution each and every day at practice, and sometimes, as in my case, we didn’t always appreciate it in the heat of the moment.  But when game time came around, and we were dominating our opponents in front of cheering fans in the stands, the thrill and sweet taste of victory swallowed up all the pain of the practice fields.

The timeless lessons about life which Coach Haley invested countless hours ingraining into a scrappy bunch of teenagers have surely rippled out throughout the lives of every young man he interacted with.  What could have easily been mistaken for harsh, judgmental correction, was actually motivated by a desire to instill into a bunch of impressionable adolescents a vastly important lesson… To improve and achieve success, it takes effort… consistent, persistent and refining effort over and over again.  But also the realization that the effort is worth it!

Winning on the football gridiron, at your job, or within the walls of your home with your family all take effort.  Surely we will make mistakes and occasionally “miss an important blocking assignment” along the way.  But that doesn’t mean that you are going to be benched, or that you can’t pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and try again, and again, and again until you get it right.  It just takes effort and a willingness to receive some coaching, and give it your all.

What Preston Haley helped me realize is that having someone around who cares enough to correct you when you make a mistake is important.  It might feel a bit awkward or uneasy at the time, but most people around us actually want us to succeed and be a winner in life.  So we need to take corrective advice and suggestions from our parents, friends, co-workers, etc… for what they are - An opportunity to improve and become better, so we aren’t doomed to repeat those same mistakes over and over again.

As hard as those embarrassing and challenging moments were in the moment, they helped shape me into the man I am today.  Instead of hating Coach Haley for his “tough love”, we learned from, deeply respected and were willing to walk through fire for him and strive to improve and become better… and that is what made him and us all winners!

Newspaper clipping of us celebrating our State Championship victory
(that's me yelling right behind #32 & #75, my good friends Troy Hastings and Rod Jones, and my future brother-in-law Derek Jensen is #45 on the far left)

And that is the way our relationship may often feel with our Heavenly Father.  Although He has a profound love and compassion for us, He also desires us to improve and become better in every way of life… and sometimes that means asking more of us.  To become more kind and forgiving, even when it is hard.  To have to work, struggle and reach to find the spiritual and temporal answers we seek.  It’s not because He doesn’t want to give us those blessings, but because He wants us to be changed in the process.  And that process takes practice and repetition to ingrain those reactions into the very fiber of our souls, so that when those “game time” moments in life come, we will be able to rise to the occasion and be victorious because of the opportunities He has already provided us to practice those skills in our daily lives.

So here is a shout out to all the amazing “Coaches” in our lives, who care enough to help us become better!  We are ALL worth the effort!

Coach Haley, Myself, and a former teammate, Derek Jensen, who became my brother-in-law at a football game in 2015 in which Coach Haley was honored during the halftime ceremony.  He will always be a legend in my mind!
(His dear wife Mary is standing behind us in the background)

Enveloped and Embraced

Enveloped and Embraced

A few days ago, I happened to have a few days off work, and because of some car trouble, we weren’t able to make a long road trip to visit some of our kids for the weekend.  But after a long hard day of doing some much needed fall clean-up work in the yard, my wife came up with the brilliant idea that at least we could take a shorter trip to a nearby Hot Springs for a relaxing time together.

It was cool and rainy, and after a long, hard day of yard work the prior day, a warm soak in a mineral hot springs seemed just like the ticket to recovery.  It was still early in the morning when we arrived, and it wasn’t very crowded yet, so I decided to just find a remote area of one of the soaking pools to just relax and meditate for a few minutes.

As I closed my eyes, and tried to clear my mind of my worries, it soon became apparent that there was more noise and distractions than I had anticipated:  The pattering of the rain on the canopy above me, and on the open water nearby, splashes and conversations of other visitors in other areas of the pools, cars and semi-trucks rumbling by on the highway nearby, and countless other interferences were still bombarding my senses.  I momentarily felt myself wishing I just had the place all to myself for a period of time.

In this temporary state of diversion, while focusing on trying to block out everything around me, the profound thought suddenly hit me, that despite all of these commotions, I had almost neglected to realize that I was still completely surrounded by the warm, enveloping embrace of the hot springs.

Taking a moment to instead concentrate on how wonderfully those mineral waters felt, I quickly felt the tension and stress begin to leave me.  And when I opened my eyes, instead of seeing or noticing all of the distractions, I noticed how peaceful my surrounding actually were:  The steam rising gently upward through the cool downfall of rain, the beautiful landscaping of the rocks and bushes around me.

The mountain hillsides rising upward with a full display of fall colors.

And most importantly, my wonderful wife was right there beside me to enjoy the experience with me!

In this life, ALL of it is part of the experience.  There are countless interruptions, noises and the rainy days of life that threaten to distract and disrupt us from the plans we may have for ourselves.  And if we focus solely on those things, then we will come to think that our experience is one of only frustration.

But through all of these experiences, if we pause to notice it, there is actually the constant, warm and loving embrace of Heaven, which literally surrounds us at all times.

It is simply just always there whether we recognize it or not.  But when we shift our perspective to focus upon that enveloping embrace, we begin instead to see the beauty of all that surrounds us.

And that perspective and realization makes all the difference in what we experience!

“Wherever we are in life, there are times when all of us have challenges and struggles. Although they are different for each, they are common to all.  …Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there.” – President Thomas S. Monson

The Progression of Reality

The Progression of Reality

I felt prompted today to write of and experience I had in the Rexburg, Idaho temple sometime in the fall of 2015.

As I usually try to do, I had been preparing myself throughout the day prior to attending, so as to invite the Spirit prayerfully into my heart and be open to learn and be instructed during my time in the temple.  I also arrived early before the session, so I could have time to sit in the chapel area and pray and prepare myself before the session started.

As myself and the other patrons were eventually led by the officiators into the first room, representing the world in which we now live, I found myself seated next to a young man who appeared to be in his early to mid-20s, most likely a college student from BYU-Idaho.  He was trim, with blond hair and glasses, but I noticed almost immediately that he was chewing some bubble gum.  As the lights dimmed and the movie presentation began, he began to chew on his gum more vigorously, and also began quietly, but consistently blowing small bubbles of gum, then pull the bubble of gum back into his mouth with a muffled “pop” and then begin earnestly chewing and repeating the process over again.  As the session progressed, he also began to nervously bounce his foot up and down, first one leg, then another.

I have to admit, that I was quite distracted throughout the session, and as our time in the first room progressed, I found myself getting annoyed, frustrated and focused upon him rather than paying attention to what was being taught.  But I didn’t say anything, not wanting to add to any of the distraction for the other patrons, but in my heart I was passing judgment on his behaviors as being inappropriate for the environment of the temple.  After all, his behaviors were detracting and preventing me from having the temple experience I was personally seeking after.

As the ordinance progressed the time approached for us to move to the next room, and while walking into the brighter and lighter space, I determined that I was going to try to quit paying attention to the young man, and instead try to more fully focus on the ordinance itself.  After all, I had been preparing myself all day to come to the temple, not only to do some ordinance work for one of my ancestors, but to also be instructed by the Lord with what He wanted me to learn that day.  The young man sat next to me, and his behaviors still continued, but I was more successful in feeling the Spirit as I blocked out much of the distraction and focused on the sacredness of the experience and looking forward to progressing towards what was still to come.

Later, once in the Celestial room, representative of passing into Heaven, I breathed a sigh of relief and finally put all of my previous thoughts and frustrations aside and spent a few moments in prayer, asking the Lord to open my eyes and help me be open to anything He might want to teach me.  After a few moments I felt prompted to open my eyes.

As I looked up, I almost instantly noticed the fidgeting young man seated a short way across the room.  His eyes were closed, his feet planted on the floor evenly in front of him, his back upright but his head bowed.  His hands were placed out on top of his thighs but struggled to stay still as they grasped and then released the fabric of his pants.  But it was the agony on his face that struck me the most.  His features were contorted in frustration, and as my eyes and heart were suddenly opened by the Spirit, I realized how hard he was fighting just to try to stay still and pray… but his body would not let him do so.

My heart instantly became changed as I realized for the first time, that this young man must suffer from some type of disorder that made it almost impossible for him to hold still.  I considered that with such a condition, what a monumental effort of faith it must take to have to force yourself to sit in one place for nearly two hours of an endowment session.  Now, having endured through it all, he simply wanted to find a few moments of relief in the Celestial room, and be able to pray in peace and stillness to his Heavenly Father… but it was a bitter fight against his fidgeting flesh to do so.

My heart reach out towards this young man and up towards heaven in his behalf.  Now, rather than judgement, I had a glimpse of understanding and my soul welled up instead with compassion and pleading for him that he could find a least a few moments of the stillness and peace he so desperately sought after in this holy place.

Looking around the room, I quickly noticed other patrons in prayer and contemplation.  One man sat off in the corner, bent forward with his elbows upon his knees and his hands clasped earnestly together.  His brow was knit with concern and his mouth silently opened and closed in a fervent and heartfelt prayer that only Heaven could hear.  I pondered over who he might be praying for with such energy and conviction, perhaps a wayward prodigal child?  Or maybe a loved one suffering from a significant health condition?  Perhaps a wife who was struggling with her testimony?  I did not know, but it was evident that his emotions were of such depth that certainly a loving Heavenly Father could not help but hear and understand the feelings of this man’s soul.

With my eyes opened in such a manner, I realized that all the patrons in the room were quietly facing their own personal situations, seeking for answers, peace and comfort that could not be found in the world outside.  But in faith, they were all here with me.  I closed my eyes and the nature of my prayer changed, not to seeking that the Lord would answer my own selfish, personal prayers and petitions, but that He would accept some small measure of my faith and instead grant the struggling souls of those around me with the desires that they were righteously seeking for.

Suddenly, the Spirit shifted my focus from the others back to myself, and I realized that what I had come seeking in my own journey to the temple had been provided and answered all along.  I had come to seek for the further light and understanding that the Lord wanted me to know… and it had been granted.

In the Telestial environment, representative of the world in which we live, I had been easily distracted by the things around me, and was quick to pass judgement and lose focus on the things of greater importance.  My eyes and understanding were veiled to some degree and with my attention diverted away from the Lord, I had passed through much of the experience missing what was being taught by ordinance itself.  I was too concerned and judgmental about others, who seemed to be interfering with what I thought should be happening for my own benefit.

As I shifting my focus more towards the Lord and less on the temporal distractions around me, I was led into a room of more light and taught about a higher degree of consecration and commitment to do God’s will, and those things which had bothered me before were of far less importance to what I was experiencing previously.

Finally, advancing to a Celestial environment, my eyes were finally opened and I was allowed to see things more as they really are.  My attention was shifted not away from those around me, but instead I was directed to look back upon them, but with eyes that now saw and understood more from God’s perspective.  Rather than judgement, I was moved with compassion and sought for their welfare rather than my own selfish desires… and by having that shift in focus, I finally received and was taught through the Spirit, the great and profound lesson the Lord wanted to teach me, and what I needed to come and find that day for myself.

I realize from this experience, that the goal in life, and part of the purpose of the temple, is to not only teach us about the great blessings which are waiting to be claimed after we pass through the veil of mortality and into the heavens beyond, but is instead to teach us how to see with progressively more light.  In that revealing light we can focus more intently upon the Lord, become less distracted and frustrated by those around us, and  be able to see things… right here and right now in our present living situation… from a more heavenly vantage point.  In doing so, we are able to see others and life around us more in the way the Savior sees them, and shift our focus away from our own personal desires, instead to doing the will of the Father and lifting, praying for and helping those around us through their own struggles and challenges.

With this higher form of living and seeing and serving, I believe we don’t have to wait to pass through the veil to the other side, but instead will invite more of Heaven into our own hearts each and every day along the way.

As C.S. Lewis wrote: “Earth, I think, will not be found by anyone to be in the end a very distinct place. I think earth, if chosen instead of Heaven, will turn out to have been, all along, only a region in hell:  and earth, if put second to Heaven, to have been from the beginning a part of Heaven itself.”